Let there be light
This is a story of my encounter with the Equilibrium no. 54. Serapis Bey.
It has long been said that light doesn't come without darkness
and I feel my life certainly seems to attest to these words.
Growing up in Prague, the capital of the Czech Republic,
also known as the “golden city of hundred spires”, the “heart of Europe”, "the mother of cities,”
Madam Prague and the whole Bohemia was heavily abused by Russian occupation
of the communist era, that was coming to it’s end, through Velvet Revolution setting her
into sweet hands of freedom.
My fate somewhat coincided with the fate of my country,
for my whole life has been coupled with decades of chaos, abuse and unspeakable tragedies
at home which are merely just a few of the experiences, wounds and scars I have acquired.
I do not talk to my "estranged" family, for I have closed that chapter of my life.
Nevertheless, memories do live on and I share these in my upcoming book "At last I am Free".
However, healing the wounds and scars of the past and destroying the chains which bound me
has been another matter altogether.
My journey towards healing was and still is and most likely will continue to be a bumpy ride.
I have visited many healers, inciters and exciters, tried many therapies to help me
and guide me along the way, before I found the ones that made a profound difference.
Many had no idea, many judged and many self-proclaimed lightworkers caused more damage
than they did any good, leaving me even more lost and fearful, that there might be no end to this.
Wondering self-loathing in guilt, cluelessness, and self-pity I kept going.
I knew that the freedom and the power of light doesn’t come by ignoring the negative
and avoiding the darkness as many new age books and ideology might make you believe,
but by going straight to the fires of Mount Doom and facing the darkness head on.
Only there I could destroy the chains, which bound me, scarred me and scared me.
Just as was my determination for believing I deserve a better life, which lead me,
escaping my abusive childhood onto the rough streets of Prague, effectively becoming a homeless,
whilst still in secondary school, because to me "anything was better than being there",
so was my determination to heal and "get better".
My escape into the freedom of streets was my own velvet revolution, which freed me, but not at last.
That was just a stepping stone and the real challenges only began.
In my eyes if I didn’t find the way, my life was just a complete waste of time and I was not giving up.
Divine timing was everything.
I was the Indigo child warrior and faith has always been my weapon.
I was and I think to this day I still am the "spiritual gangsta".
Yet, it took a decade and a half with moving to another country, becoming a mother of two,
along with number of master initiations into a numerous healing modalities
and changing my identity to cut the past, before I found someone and something, that worked.
Not only my guide wasn't able to materialise before me prior to that time,
for she only moved to Ireland just very recently, but, because many things were happening
behind the scenes I wasn't aware of until much later.
I discovering Aura Soma during an angel workshop I was taking and many years later,
I opened up to working those beautiful coloured bottles alongside my therapies.
Being already highly sensitive to energies, I felt every shift and change profoundly,
often times using 4 bottles at a time to help push the pain and wounds out of my system.
I was mesmerized. Never in my life would I have imagined how powerful actually they are....
talk about transformation; not only did they changed, shifted, transformed, pushed, pulled and released
stuff on a soul, physical and emotional level, they also changed things in my life.
People started to come and go, skeletons kept falling out of my closet, people, whom I didn't speak since
I was young started making contact and so on and so on. Changes started to take place.
Then, along came Serapis Bey Equilibrium no. 54. the purification through the power of light;
the most powerful bottle in the whole Aura Soma system. It was my 7th bottle.
I started using the clear on clear Equilibrium applying it all over my body like a lotion
and just a few days into using the bottle, my entire being fell apart like a broken mirror.
Tears were pouring out uncontrollably, which I thought were those that never been cried for everything that has happened to me in my life. On top of that my skin went down on my face, my neck and my chest and I looked like I had 3rd-degree burns. (I knew that was my karma being given healing for something in the past.) I also hardly slept, ate and barely knew my name. It was as if all the pain, poison, toxins and everything else was being pushed from the depths of my being to the surface and it wasn’t going to go that easily.
Apart from that nothing else major happened and I thought to myself, ok, that was all the this bottle gave me. But then…
A week after I finished using the bottle n. 54 (which took 2 weeks), I received a phone call from an unknown, ID number. As I answered a member of my "estranged" family was on the other side speaking to me.
I was stunned. I was guided to create a new name, new identity to move away from all of that
and they still managed to find me. I couldn’t understand as to why though. I wanted nothing to do with them.
However, I knew this was the magic of the bottle Serapis Bey working through my life, the skeleton in my closet, that this bottle was going to reveal, removing the cobwebs of my past. I knew then, that the most powerful healing and possibly the only one that would truly make any difference to me and my life and
for my wounds came from forgiveness. It was either now or never.
A week later and thanks to the help of my wonderful other half, who encouraged me to go,
I boarded on a plane, landing in Madame Prague; my goddess, my “mother”
who looked after me, when I had nobody else and I stayed with my best friend.
She, also a highly intuitive, energy sensitive spiritual seeker, accompanied me to my parent's home
on the outskirts of Prague, where russian high-rise apartments, were reminder me of rabbit cage,
was the Mordor of Prague - the "dark land", where the eye ever watchful never sleeps.
Standing before the closed doors of Mordor, my legs shaking, my heart pounding
and hands sweating I was calling all the angels, archangels and God to help me get through this.
My best friend was hiding, waiting for me on the stairs, in case I needed help.
As the door opened, my estranged family stood on the other side, not even recognizing me.
I felt something pushing my back and so, I walked in, to give my forgiveness.
My best friend later said, she saw a huge ball of angelic energy going in with me.
I knew this was all about my intentions and actions, not whether or not they will be received.
You can imagine how fearful I was that I was going to be locked up and beaten up.
All those years of abuse, I didn’t think that these kinds of people ever change.
The only peace of mind I had that there were muscled painters painting the corridors
and Gardai just across the road. My best being instructed to get me help if I started screaming.
We had no idea of what to expect, so we had to be prepared.
But the people who spent years in control were in ruins.
The energy inside was horrible, dark, tense, intense, hopeless, filled with despair.
I miraculously managed to find the strength to hug my very sick mother,
who suffering with a progressed case of MS and many other health issues
was broken by looking after my severely handicapped brother and dealing
with energies of my father who had a very strait-laced, dictatorial attitude.
Don’t be fooled that she wasn’t playing a part in what has happened.
She was just as guilty as he was, but she had not strength to ever stand up to him.
I have found that no physical harm can come from them anymore.
My father ran away from me, as I stood there hugging my crying mother.
I knew I was at last in charge of my own self.
Both sat in my brothers room who had not find the strength to look me in the eyes
and spent the whole time with his head turned the other way. They invited me to sit down,
but I wasn’t going to cross the threshold of that room and remained in the hallway.
I felt saver that way.
Awkward silence was paused with me telling that I have 2 children and then,
I said to them, I forgive them for what has happened. They merely blankly starred at me,
saying nothing back, but I didn’t care whether or not they felt they did me wrong.
Their own denial was their own challenge and I wasn’t responsible for it,
neither for convincing them they did me harm.
Suddenly, I felt the same push on my back and I knew it was time to go.
My mother accompanied me to the door and I was back on the outside.
An overwhelming sense pour over me, letting me know it was probably the last time I saw them.
At least I did, what was right, before it was too late to forgive.
I have come to realise, that no matter how challenging and painful my childhood has been,
I felt they deserved to be forgiven.
Aren't we all born to play a certain role here on Earth from which we can learn, grow and evolve?
Their role towards me has been just as painful for them as the life-long effects it has on me.
Don't confuse this please with excusing them for their actions. That is not what I mean.
I meant, that there simply was no need for punishing them or myself further.
Me and my best friend swiftly returned to the city centre to a shopping centre called Angel.
I sat in side in a café when the most powerful shift arrived.
I felt a profound surge of energy running throughout my body which nearly knocked me out.,
making me shaky, sweaty dizzy, and lightheaded for about 3-4 hours straight, visiting bathroom every 2 minutes and forcing me to drink lots of water to calm the severe dehydration I was experiencing.
I was scared to bone, not knowing what is happening to me and was thinking of going to the hospital A&E,
but my friend knew it was the cleansing effects of Serapis Bey being activated.
I had to just wait and ride it out.
Sometimes in life, you can’t always fix things, or relationships, often the only to heal is to forgive. and let go.
I will not be fixing my relationship with them, for there is no need to.
It would be plain mad to do so. Forgiveness doesn't lie in forgetting what has happened and reconciling.
Forgiveness lies in releasing the energy that is attached to the pain and suffering of what has happened.
In doing so, you will allow and enable your wounds and scars to begin healing.
My forgiveness was applied and the cleansing of my wounds
and the purification of my being through the power of the light has been activated.
I have broken the chains.
2017 © Ester Young, All Rights Reserved